HaPpY nEw YeAr???? or SaD nEw YeAr?

Its been almost time to say good by to 2008 and say welcome to 2009, but i couldn't figure out how to welcome 'IT'. Pretending happy and bow-ing it??, just to show that i am ok when i am totally not?? o.O... well yeah! i am not happy in this happy new year... I've been recieving a lot of sweet smses from my belovers which doesnt really make me happy after reading them.. i don feel like texting anyone like i used to do.. so i am texting them saying 'same to you too' with a smiley face though i am not.....i mean, whats the point of me getting happy when i know i am not! i know that all are out there having fun, enjoying,dancing, exchanging gifts so n so.. but what am i doing here? sitting and expressing whats in my heart?? damn these stupid weirdness which is killing me!!! damn! i am staying away from my friends, damn, i am so lonely here.. :(
This is the worst so called HAPPY NEW YEAR for me in my whole life!

i think, once i told some one that 2007 was the best year of all.. cause my friends n i used to hav a lot of fun in DJs and at there places.. those days were the best days of all.. and yeah ofcourse 2008 became better than "best" as i've spent the maximum time with my friends hanging out and going out for dhathuru and all..

well lets see what i've had in 2008;

used to stay awake late at night with friends roaming around.. here and there

went for three days over night to an island with friends

spent an overnight in a studio with friends.. it was fun..

had sleep overs at friends places...

got so attached to a friends family..
and so an soo.. (the family was soo kewl.. they loved me a lot)

every one used to come over my place like EVERY DAY to have fun...

learned to play guitar.. dheevaana vey moosum ge raagu ekani.... o.O (thanks to SP) ^_^

went to Malay with my bestest pals.. a e va dhathureh!! :D

*sigh......just wish i cud go back and start over.. but naah... nothings gonna be the same ever.. neway...
those people who r happy out there!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

photography...

i just cant stop taking snap shots from my camera and my phone these days... photography is something i've always loved.. i thought having a simple camera would do everything i want.. but when i hav a one.. now i keep wanting a BETTER one.. from the current camera which i have (W170) Cant capture objects using macro.. and macro is superkewl.. i wanna get a better one! a BETTER ONE!! :(

but hey... my phone makes me happy as i capture much greater pictures in different styles.. so hav a look on what i've been up to recently..

this is taken from my phone (nokia7610)



this is from my mobile too.. its my diary...




this is from my camera... it isnt that kewl..

Strange phrases and words..

whats the word u split out when somebody pinches you or when u get a surprise or when some one scares u oorr when u see something scary??
is it the same word that you use in such situations?? i bet NO!!??

well, i've found out that lot of people uses different strange words in different situations and its kinda funny when i hear them..i mean like.. kama nugulhey bas bas kiyaa meehun ves ulhey... it could be anything which doesnt really have a meaning to what situation u use it though.. oh yeah.. i know, its not unusual that everyone has a habbit of splitting out words when u tremble.. but what i am saying is... why do u have to remember your mom or your moms parts oorr poops that u waste in such situations WHEN u actually hav to remember god or like something good...

anyway I bet most of you uses the word SHIT in your daily life.. (ye, including me o.O) we use it in times and its like kasheega hifaafa ey bunaa hen, 'angaiga harulaafa' hunna baheh..

tell u, i have this friend who always uses CANCLE in times and mostly when he finds out that something wrong goes around among us.. and he says like " CANCLE!! thihiree mulhin CANCLE board ah laan jehifa" dhen nuheyn huttas heveyne ehen buneema,

and the other phrase he uses is "ALLAH AKBAR FAUZIYYA, ALHAMDHULILLAAHI FAUZIYYA" duuhh.. dont u find it funny?? he uses it (aslu we) mostly when he sees something funny happening around..

the other most cute word he uses is.. 'Amaabandu' nukiyan vegen "amaa... naai" and the interesting thing is the way he says it.. he wud say "Amaa" and waits for few secounds and then says "naai".. and thats when somebody hits him dam hard.. hehe

ooh one more, he always says JOOOOOS for what ever we say... like for example i ask him something and then instead of answering me he would say JOOHEY??? u know like "ain?? :S" hehe..

well there are so many phrases i've learned from this friend ad its humorousely funny and adorable.. you'd simply love to hear his funny talks...
just missed the phrases and so thought to share this with u guys..
(picture by divaint art)



(miss u Hassan)

feeling lonely...

its so late and am still awake...on my bed...
it hurts when memories keep flashing all over me,
loneliness in the darkness has become a burden,
i cudnt unzip my lips and wipe my tears, which became my friend instantly..
silence started visiting me recently, cause there is always emptiness which desperately waits for it...
where ever i go...quietness walks with me like a shadow, as i happily take them with me..
and now, i think i've started forgetting a lot..
somebody told me a joke today and i totally didnt know what to do when everyone else were laughing..
then i remembered..
my best friend 'smile' left me days ago and it never came back..
i cant forget the goodbyes it waved me the day it left me...
i am so lonely in this hollowly room..
i need my friends back..
i feel weak and lost in here
and its hard to understand i've never been felt this way ever..

oh dam these tears.. i don want them, but it keeps coming..
for god sake.. these feelings... i want them to runaway..
but it wont just go...
not until my "NEWLY" friends are here... (if u know what i mean)
(picture by divaint art)

life's so empty when u realize u left your life out there and starts a new one for the better or worst

Happy Birth Day dear

Months passed away, days flew away, time ran away...
through this you and me, did always stay...
How lovely were we, No problems and only fun,
You made me happy since the beginning...
unlike others you kept a good connection with delegate freedom...
and that's why you became so special, so close to my heart...
i love the way we used to share some from mine and some from yours..

remember the times we used to 'get' things so promptly?
those eye moves you made, made me smile... ^_^
the moves you made.. unknowingly or knowingly..
i understood like a book i read..

One thing which i couldnt comprehend through out was..
the uniqueness in you which i've never seen from anyone else..
how cool and sweet are you... *just no words to explain that
you've been always there for me,
when ever i need... i just don know how to thank you so..
i feel proud and glad to stay beside you
as you make me feel different and special..
and it feel realy good to know that you make me REALIZe that i am SPECIAL in you...

and how can i forget such a friend's birthday..
dear, i am fortunate to have a friend like you..

happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear s phataas, happybirthay tooooo uuuuuuuuu..
ha..thah thah thah thuh..
HAPPi BIRTH DAY..
^_^

WhAt a FeElInG...... :(

dam.. what pain is this..

an unknown feeling
which keeps telling me to stop what your doing...
what is this thing which is killing me,, deep inside from my soul..
how can i defete this?
i want to end it up, but i want to keep it as well..
what am i supposed to do?
everyone has gathered me..
am i going to confess my final goodbyes??
everyones expecting a lot more than i thought..
but me,, why cant i listen to them??
i can see them stopping me, i can see them talking...
but i cant hear them..
what is it all wants from me??
life of enjoyment?? fun?
a temporary life with fun and laughter??
am i bound to be in this life?
am i allowed to settle in this life??
NO!! i am not!
i am not allowed to hear your words!!
shhhhhhhh!! just go away!!
let me live., and live on..
without me,,
enjoy...
but remember!!
i've been there!, i'll always be...
in your minds, in your thoughts..
forever and ever..
i am gonna miss you all
:'(
(i feel like crying...)

(picture by divaint art)

GooD bYeS ArE FoReVeR FoR SoMe PeOpLe... :(

i know, love was when i loved u..

one true time i hold u..

i cud go on.. talking a lot abt LOVE..

but wud it ever make a difference?

i guess they were seasons out of time...

the moments we shared were beautiful and pure,

i know, we want to make them come true..

but yet we havent had a clue HOW to start...

i'm belong to someone else,

same as you..

we tried so many ways.. 

but non of it made a difference..

i still remember your words darl c...

they werent true before... but they used to be once,,

i can feel it, and i believe it NOW...

same time 

i know, we hav no choice.. not a single way to start our life..

i know, you were hopeless before..

NOW, i am hopeless... more than ever...

i loved you... honestly and purely..

but can our dreams ever come true?

i dont think so darl... :( 

i'm gonna miss you... 

good buys arent forever.. thats what people say..

but i guess its our GOOD BYE darl... 

keep living, take good care...

tHe UnFoRgEtTAbLe MoMeNt Of lYf... (2002)

 

it was a monday afternoon, i was walking down the street all alone. the whole environment seems so crowded with people and vehicles. the rain drops which were falling kept me cold and wet.. the fog around seems so huge as i hardly recognized people's faces... some were struggling with their umbrellas and the others were busy running here and there finding shelter to get rid of rain.. the whole scene reminded me of a film that nearly happened the same.. 

anyhow, i wasn't carrying an umbrella or was wearing a coat or something to coverup my self from rain as i loved rain deliberately... so apparently yes, i was all wet.. thank god the file that i was carrying was a transparent buttoned file.. so had no fear tht it wud get wet.. 

well, actually i had no choice other than getting wet in the rain as i cant stop and wait.. if i had, i wud have got late to class... and on the other hand  it was hard to find a  cab in a busy street like this.. so i did i thought best for me... anyway here comes the interesting part...

i wasnt in a hurry though, so was slightly walking slowly and the sudden appearance of someone infront of me scared me to death... i shook my head and blinked my eyes in surprise.. looked at what he did to me..  was this some one didnt know the road rules??  i guess yes!!  anyway... ... "yuk" was the only word i uttered as my dress got wet with dusty mud from the pavement... got a bit frustrated but kept my anger and gave him another glance.. AND then,  "WOW" was the other word which... didnt utter but had in mind and heart... lol.. i looked at him thinking of saying something but all my words melted in astonishment and again froze in surprise with butterflies flying over my head.. duhh... 'what a guy, what a style, what a look... ' I THOUGHT! heheh 

TO BE CONTINUED..... :P

SwEeT MoMeNtS.... ^_^

i am at a loss of words...

when ever i see u my feet go cold and shivery..

the way u talk, the way u live...

all make me think of u a thousand times ahead..

emptiness arose me with temptation towards u..

hidden feelings explore inside me.. and all i see is u..

i try to control what touches me,

it makes me feel dizzy and unconsious..

i wanna know it, i wanna fight with it to let it go..

but i cant defeate it as i see u with deligency and purity,

u standing right infront of me...

oh what pain, i made history with u

which will never creat a future for me..

those hearttrending moments,

the lovable kisses,

those dramatic moves which were out of my will..

up and down, to and fro..

u made me feel like living in heaven...

i cud hardly breathe when i lay u next to me,,

your wrists around me,

holding so tightly made me chock out and look at u..

aawww those eyes.. what crystals u've got..

what innocency u have..

how beautiful were they..

i know... and who else wud know....

wish to see another day spending so..

wish to smell the aroma which no one cud smell..

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

wish i cud see u onceagain just for another hearttrending moment of us..

MiSsInG U LiKe CrAzY...

met you in a crowded place, with so many people around..
saw u alone, staring at me....
took off my eyes from u, as a sudden fear rose up in my spines...
headed to my work... having no intention towards you..
life was a mystery i thought,
as no one knows whats inside us..
but when things go bad to worst...
people cant control...
maybe thats what i faced..

i was so silent and quiet..
thinking of a work to be done...
the sudden appearance of you scared me to death...
asking me for a contribution of myself to a get together..
how sweet of u to ask..
but NO, was the answer i gave..
i can still remember the look on your face on that very day..
i wasnt trying to be rude, but it turned out that way..
u r intention changed so weirdly..
i knew...

after days, again i met you... in a printing area..
that was long after the day we first met...
i can still remember, how u tried to help me on an opening ceremony of some A4 sheets..
u r help made me reach you in no time via your add...
that was the real beginning, i guess...

chatting with u was fun and adorable,
talking to u so openly made me feel u so close and special..
u asked me to make a promise,
i happily agreed...
u asked me if i cud care you...
i said yes, if we are that close...
and so....
'friends forever'.. you defined me with a great explanation ..
neither by words, nor by expressions..
but by knowing each other..
i know it wasnt love that we were exchanging
each day...
but it was something more stronger than i thought...
u became my crying shoulder, the greatest fan of my life...
within just 3 months..
and now your far away from me...
and here me,, thnking of you....
your words and the moves you made with me...
i simply love the way you treated me...
wish we cud meet forever and never be apart..
miss u like crazy dear...

Another start

after so many days of work i deleted you,

just wanna say i am so sorry...

i couldn't stop thinking the moments i used to share with you,

the beautiful songs, 

the lovable talks and most importantly

you listening to me with no fear...

i am totally a dumb ass...

yes.. but not anymore..

i wont delete you here after.. i promise..

just keep in touch and we'll share more than we used to..

just you and me..

together...

its always better when we're together..

no more gals, guys..

missed you so much my bloggiee..

and welcome back to me... thanks so much..