unforgettable date

I met you in a crowded road.. at  a point where I was so broken...    
I gave u the name stalker as u stepped in...yet u followed as you thought it was what your heart directed.. and I knew tht im trapped as You becsme the turning point of my life when teenage shattered.. love was when I found you tht I felt in you.. no one to know, was our aim and u took my hand in that non existing elevator..
It was literal that we kissed above the ground and underneath the sky..
Not planned but was meant to happen... your thirst for me  I sensed it as u hid your smile while your eyes blinked.. you explained me your heart         with complete silence in that aluminum four walled box...
Unforgettable was the name you gave the date... and so was it..          
Oh, how so much I miss you as you r not he who loved me so..

My kids.. my first priority. ..

The love story began with A WALK TO REMEMBER  And its ending with a NOTEBOOK  that got TWO interesting pages that will be read out forever..

My two sons becoming the most admirable pages in my note book will always remain my strength. No matter how many more pages I got to complete. .. they will be the first pages of my book which  I will always read.

LONLINESS! YOU ARE NOT INVITED ANYMORE :)

It's another night.. cold and shivering..
So alone completely yet accompanied fully as my darlings are just on my eyes..

Nothing to worry nothing to fear
Fast asleep deep down in the dreamland, expressing the meaningful smile..

But I know, there is  a lot more than what they seem...
So much missed.. so much unsaid.. so much to express..so much incomplete. ..

Yet again here, right here I stay just beside them. .. merrily enjoying my empty life, filling up my joy having them in my life... making them the most loved ones..

Thanking allah for wat I got n wat I m capable of contributing. ..
Wishing them to gain the one thing they are missing the most.. :(

RUMINATION...

its hard to understand that you always want something and get something else. its like having a phobia about your own life. The intensity of being too much left alone and getting over...

well, people say it's never too late to make a decision for your own good. but the question is, how to deal with it and the right time to process it.

The thing is, life is too short and unpredictable to be aware of what might happen then and there.. It's like i have to always have a back up plan of what might come up. You know, nothing can be trusted. every thing is so unexpectedness.But i guess its time for me to show up my strength and move forward. Giving up is not what it is. hoping and dreaming is lasting way ahead of me. every thing is going so far away from me. i got to stop thinking it over and over again. but what else could i be doing? considering the consideration might get a help if i'd put up them in ink... i needed to do this. i dont have anyone to talk with.. well, no body is worth listening to my craps as i am not in a condition to gain sombodys sympathy in my life. And that makes me feel miserable. so, its always better to be alone and just rant out every word i want in here.. in tat case, no body can hear me or see me burning and dying from inside.. i know, it CUD have been better if i try sharing this with someone... well atleast someone... but you know, i just hear them say, "every things gonna be okay" when i totally know that its not ever gonna be okay.. so why wasting up the energy of mine to something whihc will eventually never make me happy.

i still havent stated what my problem is... see, this is whats wrong in me. i never bring out my problem and keeps on, u know... shouting, blaming, ranting... and watever it is... guess it makes me feel better..

i have always knows.. the ones who are around me, never actually understands whats in me. or what i am capable of. some simply judge me by just u know, looking at me.. and most of them are the ones which i have good impressions on them. it really makes me feel weird and u know ugly of who i am ... i mean, WHY do people just hate me JUST LIKE that! i dont get it.

is it the look? or the style? i dont know.. anyway.. i really cant state my problem.. i got too much to write if so....

i just hope this made me feel better.... actually lets say it did not!

i really wish to get a ride out side, drag in to a dance club... or have a beach party out somwhere where i can be accepted and LOVED...

some advise

let me tell u, people meet people in times of there life.. its natural that we fall for the one we think we are in love with, wen actually we are making the mistake of not understanding or lets say, not knowing each other that well.. what i am trying to say is, basically we know tht being human beings, we should accept tht, life wont give us what we always want and that the best thing is to accept everything happily no matter you may have to cry.. Allah has never complicated our life with depression and sorrow.. its just we who doesnt understand what we've got! now if i am not wrong, for example you have a father but not a mother, so you complain to your self that you cant live without a mother, lets say, you have a fulltime busy scheduled job but you cant sleep well,, so is it time to complain?,, or lets say you handle money and power very well, but you cant handle your wife! so u complain??
NO! its not even close to complain! its just we humans never thank for what we have and got. just imagine, allah has given us a good healthy body with a brain. that makes our life. what else do we need to complain? there are tons of people who are blind, homeless etc... we should be thankful for what we have rahter than complaining to our selves. be patient with what ever face you! dont try to find the path over your head, but try finding it underneath you foot. then only you'll see your self in the right way..

Hush little baby...

hush little baby dont you cry,
mamms gonna stay with u all the time..

Papas gonna come to us some day soon,
till then come here and sleep next to me...

Oh my lilttle darling baby, dont be afraid..
nothing can touches you under my care..

Show me once again your smiley face,
cause, its overwhelming to see such a new thing,,

oh darling baby, i cant take off my eyes from u..
how lovely are u sleeping right beside where u came from....

i'm EXpEcTing!!!!!!!!!!!

ey guys.. long time no see eh?..
lately i've been struggling here and there a lot,, actually within this year.
first at the begingin settled in Addu, apparently, the settling lasted 6 months then for a HUGE reason again came back to Male' settled there..for like 3 months and now with mom and dad for getting PREGNANT.. yeah! you've heard right! i am pregnant and now three months.. had to go cause husbands always away and cant live alone in a situation like this right?? anyway, yet the tummy is still the same and i think no difference is there in my weight..

ok, the reason i couldnt update: no internet at the moment.. but dad is making a room for me now and as soon as the rooms done, internet will be connected. And the reason now i am writing is cause RIGHT NOW, i am back in Male' for a week, to consult the doc... will be leaving pretty soon. things changed and specially the old life,, but no worries hopefully i'll be seeing all my friends shortly.. somehow... :) "always thing positive" eh? <_0
so, see you around guys,,, will be writing..
regards to all..