some advise

let me tell u, people meet people in times of there life.. its natural that we fall for the one we think we are in love with, wen actually we are making the mistake of not understanding or lets say, not knowing each other that well.. what i am trying to say is, basically we know tht being human beings, we should accept tht, life wont give us what we always want and that the best thing is to accept everything happily no matter you may have to cry.. Allah has never complicated our life with depression and sorrow.. its just we who doesnt understand what we've got! now if i am not wrong, for example you have a father but not a mother, so you complain to your self that you cant live without a mother, lets say, you have a fulltime busy scheduled job but you cant sleep well,, so is it time to complain?,, or lets say you handle money and power very well, but you cant handle your wife! so u complain??
NO! its not even close to complain! its just we humans never thank for what we have and got. just imagine, allah has given us a good healthy body with a brain. that makes our life. what else do we need to complain? there are tons of people who are blind, homeless etc... we should be thankful for what we have rahter than complaining to our selves. be patient with what ever face you! dont try to find the path over your head, but try finding it underneath you foot. then only you'll see your self in the right way..

Hush little baby...

hush little baby dont you cry,
mamms gonna stay with u all the time..

Papas gonna come to us some day soon,
till then come here and sleep next to me...

Oh my lilttle darling baby, dont be afraid..
nothing can touches you under my care..

Show me once again your smiley face,
cause, its overwhelming to see such a new thing,,

oh darling baby, i cant take off my eyes from u..
how lovely are u sleeping right beside where u came from....

i'm EXpEcTing!!!!!!!!!!!

ey guys.. long time no see eh?..
lately i've been struggling here and there a lot,, actually within this year.
first at the begingin settled in Addu, apparently, the settling lasted 6 months then for a HUGE reason again came back to Male' settled there..for like 3 months and now with mom and dad for getting PREGNANT.. yeah! you've heard right! i am pregnant and now three months.. had to go cause husbands always away and cant live alone in a situation like this right?? anyway, yet the tummy is still the same and i think no difference is there in my weight..

ok, the reason i couldnt update: no internet at the moment.. but dad is making a room for me now and as soon as the rooms done, internet will be connected. And the reason now i am writing is cause RIGHT NOW, i am back in Male' for a week, to consult the doc... will be leaving pretty soon. things changed and specially the old life,, but no worries hopefully i'll be seeing all my friends shortly.. somehow... :) "always thing positive" eh? <_0
so, see you around guys,,, will be writing..
regards to all..

Tagged!

hi! muwwaz tagged me... err cant remember when.. but i just logged in...(its been days, i know) so lets get started with the thinking... to figure out if i cud remember anything in my early past..

hmmm

1) i used to plait my hair from two sides since nursery till grade 5
2) i used to have a loooooong hair till 2007
3) i used to be a table tennis player (since my first grade till grade7) and was rewarded 3rd place in an inter school tournament when i was in grade 5
4) i remember some of my classes;
1K, 2D, 3..., 4D, 5M, 6B, 7A, 8c3, 9c3, 10c3
5) i scored 97 in maths when i was in grade 7 (it was the last term exams) and i remember Naffa miss giving me a biiig hug..
6) i remember Faizan and zameel bullying me in my primary grades.. because i had had andhun on my eyebrows
7) i remember dad coming late to school to fetch me..
8) i also remeber that dad was the one who always went to school and that mom rarely did...
9) i used to go to KTC since grade 2 till i finish school.
10) i remember my commerce teacher in tuition class favoring me..
11) i remember Azhar sir, our English teacher from Aminiyya..
12) i remember me crying on bed for a looooong time when i was very small.. (cant remember exactly which grade) because of mom letting my lil ssiter go out and keeping me behind..
13) i remember mom and dad buying us Barbies when ever we get an A report.
14) i remember that i cried aloud when i had my first period :p
15) i was once taken to TVM for a children's show, where we had to play lava baazee..
16) i remember the last time i swung on the kudakudhinge bageecha..
17) i remember my dad beating my bro with an eaklebroom till it get tornup..
18) i remember my grown up house in Male' (we moved in to the place when i was in grade 2 and left the house only last year) i miss the place a lot..
19) i remember mom making us food.
20) i remember my brother beaten up by some gangstars because of me..
21) i miss living with family together..
22) i miss my brother making fun of mom and playing jokes over over and over to make her laugh.
23) i remember the family trips we used to have
24) i remember mom slapping me on a road infront of tons of people.
25) i remember a lot.. cant wite all...

hey Muwwaz, thanks for tagging me.. i really have lot to write.. but i cant....

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER

have you heard of multiple personality disorder??

Multiple personality disorder (MPD) is a psychiatric disorder characterized by having at least one "alter" personality that controls behavior. The "alters" are said to occur spontaneously and involuntarily, and function more or less independently of each other. The unity of consciousness, by which we identify our selves, is said to be absent in MPD. Another symptom of MPD is significant amnesia which can't be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.Memory and other aspects of consciousness are said to be divided up among "alters" in the MPD. The number of "alters" identified by various therapists ranges from several to tens to hundreds. There are even some reports of several thousand identities dwelling in one person. There does not seem to be any consensus among therapists as to what an "alter" is. Yet, there is general agreement that the cause of MPD is repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse.

last night, i met a Distanced friend, after... lets say..... (its been days) an year ... i think more than that... anyway he used to be a great person in the early beginning of our friendship.. we started seeing each other ... NO, we used to see each other when we wer in tution class... so lets say meeting each other in the year 2005. he is a polite, quite,weird,.. i dunno how to explain his behavior.. but for sure, he wasnt NORMAL.. that i knew.. but NOT in a SERIOUS way.. well, different human beings are different in their own way isnt it? anyway, we became best buddies.. maybe because he always stayed besides me on every difficulty i faced.( when i had no friends)

now that you've known how much i like him, but here's the weird part... we used to argue a lot on stupid, silly happenings... one minute we wud be having a serious conversation, the next minute we wud be arguing about it.. mostly... we argue because of hanging out with other friends and because of finding about ones personal inner strories and exploring them to others.. these are no silly mistakes we do.. these are the mistakes we deliberately do.. DUE to the anger at a particular time.. ofcourse i've never created such stupidity but he...
so, apparently, this has started becoming a burden... and i didnt wanted to carry his stupidity anymore.. i know he had a hard time in his early childhood.. maybe thats why.. i stayed as a friend whenhe kept on talking about me AT TIMES.. the main problem for me was, HE was a CLOSE buddy of one of my Ex boy friends.. and he had contact with him at all times when we were hanging out which i never figured out.. so what happened in betwen us was.. we would argue argue argue and when we get fed up, we stop contacting each other.. just like that!.. and wud stay for like two months without hearing from each other and then starts seeing each other coincidentally..though its weird...

its more like taking a break... when he gets kicked off from somewhere else, again he would remember me.. i am not becoming proud.. but honestly this is wat happenes.. every time when i break up the ship, i wud start getting long texts from him.. via e mail or sms.. or some how.. still i know, we never had the feeling of falling in love or something like that.. it was more like... i am his crying shoulder and he is mine.. so, me who cant deny when people apologizes, forgives easily with advisable mails... and then again we wud be friends.. and again the same thing wud happen..

this has been repeating since 2005.. for the last time he aid sorry in the year 2008, but i never replied him.. because i knew he wasnt profusley regreting what he did... so i never showed up..
but unfortunately, i again met him and we are now friends.. we had lot to share... our conversation lasted more than 3 hours..
at the begingin of our conver we spoke about the feelings we had for each other,, the respect and all.. but then,, later, i couldnt bare to listen to wat he spoke.. i almost cried when i found out a HUGE truth about his self..

THEN I STARTED REALIZING HOW I WAS TREATING HIM..
THEN I STARTED UNDERSTANDING HIS WERIDNESS...
then i started regreting... it was me who everytime wanted to let go...
it was me who wanted to forget the SHIP..
it was me who never really UNDERSTOOD him but KNEW every bit of him...
he continuously wanted me to stay... but i never gave a shit...

with in this one year,, he suffered a lot,, and the person he always admired to stay..... never gave a shit to find out if he was living... (which is apparently me)

i dunno why i am even writing this... but i really feel sorry for his desease.. can u imagine?? he has been suffering MPD since last year.. DUE to a BIG reason which i cant say here...
when was explainin me how things workedout, i was making jokes over them.. i even said at his face that you must be having MPD.. (was making a joke)... but when he told me wat really happneed.. i freaked out...

dhivehi version of "kasam ki kasam" (Ajnabee movie)

hitha, ey hitha ey hithaa eyy..lobi va noon ehen yaar neydhen..

hitha, ey hitha ey hithaa eyy..lobi va noon ehen yaar neydhen..
lobi vaa attaka hih beyqaraareyy...
hitha, ey hitha ey hithaa eyy..lobi va noon ehen yaar neydhen..

lobi va ey bunan hey
haalu mihithuge engey hey?
kekkuraanan mi hih dhen nimi dhanee ye balaashey..

heyonuvaaney nudhaashey, thiya gothah fasnudheyshey
rola rola hureemey lobi va ey nudhaashey

hitha, ey hitha ey hithaa eyy..lobi va noon ehen yaar neydhen..
lobi vaa attaka hih beyqaraareyy...
hitha, ey hitha ey hithaa eyy..lobi va noon ehen yaar neydhen..

lobi va enburi aadhey, heyo hithun maafu dheynan
hama yageen lobi dheynan kuriyekey effadhainney
veekameh venimidhiya e, aafeshumakun fashaashey...
maruvedhaaney yageeney lobi va ya nulaa dhen..

hitha, ey hitha ey hithaa eyy..lobi va noon ehen yaar neydhen..
lobi vaa attaka hih beyqaraareyy...
hitha, ey hitha ey hithaa eyy..lobi va noon ehen yaar neydhen..

ey hitha, aan hithaa, kiya bala, lobiva, dhen nudhey.. an amey, hinmagey hifa nudhey nudhey..hitha, ey hitha ey hithaa eyy..lobi va noon ehen yaar neydhen..
lobi vaa attaka hih beyqaraareyy...

lol, this is so stupid of me.. but i got bored and all of a sudden this thingi came in to my mind,, so wrote..
PS: this is to NO one,, i prefer sad songs..like this.. so just came out..

i missed ya

its 15th july 2009...
right here,,, just now...
man!, i love you so much...