Ya RaBbAa....

oh my lord,

is this the punishment or the reward for love?
tell me my heart?
why isn't the series of hurt never vanish
why does it has so much to examine?
how dreadfully are the stories of love been written,
it never know...

no matter how much sacrifices it attends,
the person my heart targets' never cares.

how can the destination of the loyalty be shaped,
cause there is no easing of the problems in my heart.

heart beats are been stunned,
breathing has become difficult..
my lips always mention you and thinks of the memorable moments.
aaww someones life is ruined of wanting someone so badly...

no body listens to the deep crying sighs of my heart...
no ones there to hold my trembling body, to give me a hug..
half fulfilled are my wishes,
broken are all my dreams..
discouraged are my thoughts in suspect, has a wall of hate built up?
even in victory there is the feeling of loss..

"never to ask the ones who experience the pain of love
that, how is smiling and how is happiness..
cause there is always a fear of danger, over their heads.. at all times...
sometimes here, sometimes there""

PS: its the meaning of the song 'Ya Rabba' and its really meaningful..

THE lifes about......

what is life??? eh?

well... different people consider life differently as they face different scenarios in times.. what i am trying to say is, life it self cannot be destroyed or perfected unless you do it. people destroy their lives (even though its me) just for the sake of hope, and love. i wonder how many of you all think of what you have done in your past when you realize how wrong your decisions were for the future.... LOVE isnt everything in life,, happiness is more important than love i suppose.. o.O

most of the girls fall in love after seeing the honesty, loyalty, and the caring that they never expect... but what happens when they start the relation??? things begin to change.. and unknowingly the betrayals get involved... wait a sec.. abt the betrayals.. well there has to be a HUGE reason to occur the betrayals isn't it?? of course without a reason nothing would happen and i personally believe it... betrayals WILL BE there, IF THE RELATION SHIP IS NOT THAT STRONG...cause we are human beings and there are certain things we human beings cant controll in our lives.. anyway.... wat ever it is....

one thing which i am sure and you all will agree on is that, a married life, or a boy girl relationship cannot be perfect if its one sided... nomatter howmuch you try, you can not make it.. cause its ONLY you who is trying and not him or her.. however people believe that its better to pretend normal when nothing is infect normal.. people tend to serach happiness in llives where they know that they can never reach to it.. hence life leads to a failier and you never know your life is been ruined.. time can never heal it.. unless you find a better way to seak happiness rather than just staying and pretending that your OK...

well.. some peoples life is all about THE MISTAKE once they did.. where you had a choice of re-correcting it and not attending it... which you have no choice of undoing it in future... however, once the decision is been done.. you tend to think this.."what the fuck have i done!! this is not worth living!!!" and you got no other option than staying in your life due to cerctain circumstances or for the sake of your so called love and time you gathered to build this life....and so u cry watching others beautiful lives.. and thinking when would u have the chance to have a happy life... (and thats why i say life sucks!!)

PS: this is just a random thought about life.. its nothing to do with MY LIFE.. :)

intolerable life!

just another night with tears and fear all around me,
its just another heart breaking night which reminds me of the betrayals.
what a pity, i never realized how strong you were..
too cleaver, too smart...
no worries, no pain you showed..
happily accepted future with me...

BUT

was it a show off ? or a plan??
you arnt like before..
you would tell me you love me,
but u r scared to take a risk in life..
cause you know that i dont love you...
u say u love me but u never stay with me..
i don wanna believe you,
neither wanna love you...
you know that very well..
you never deserves me,
and i never deserves you..

we can never have a same to same attraction,
cause naturally we are different..
i am water and you are the fire
if i love blue berries, then you'd love black berries.
if i love enjoyment, then you'd love seriousness,
i love to have friends but you hate them,
i love sharing and you love hiding,
i love talking but u dont..

i say, we can never be together but you say we can..
why? where is the answer for that??
i hate you for tolerating me
i hate you for ruining my life,
i hate you for accepting me...
i wanna hide my self from you..
i wanna live a better life...

i wish i had never gone to you...
but i cant leave you either...
cause i know, there is no human being so unique like you..
you are loyal and understanding,,
you never took me granted when all did..
you were there for me when ever i needed someone...
you loved me as if it was a must for you...

but its so pathetic to be with u when i totally cant love you...
just let me go...
this is killing me all inside..

why? why?? why? WHY? aaarrgg!!!

why did mom buy me WHATEVER i wanted, when i was a kid?

why did mom stop buying me WHAT EVER i wanted, when i grew older?

why did mom forbid me for WHAT EVER i wanned to do?

why was i forced to do certain things which i never liked?

why did i make friends with whom they never cared me?

why was i so scared to let my parents know whts with me??

why did i try to hide when i had my first bf?

why did everything turned out unexpectedly scary?

why was i so stubborn when i never understood a thing?

why was i so different from others in my family?

why couldnt i trust my friends?

why do i pretend happy when i am not?

why cant i have a life of my own?

why cant i make others happy?

why do i feel guilty everytime??

why do i have a huge PAST??

why do i accept anything which i get instead of having what i want?

why did myself believe that its love when i know that it isnt??

why couldnt i have another chance to undo my mistakes..?

why cant i have faith in me?

why do i dream when i know that my dreams can never be completed?

why am i so quiet when i am actually not!!??

why did i decide to stay here??damn!!

why do i THINK so much abt life??

why am i WAITING for??

when am i gonna get answers for all these questions??

and WHY am i even writing this??

somebody pls please, do something! :(
*sigh

misssing you my dear!

oh my dear,
missing you here,
so badly yeah!!

i'm having this fear,
that i might loose you there,
even my eyes cant bare this tear,
which is waiting to see you near..
oh pls, come back soon in this year...

missing you loads my darling piya! ;P

^_^

picture by me

BORING!!! =T

BORING...
BORING...
BORING...
BORING...
SCHOOL OPENED!!! HMPH!!

by d way.. how is the pic? o.<>