intolerable life!

just another night with tears and fear all around me,
its just another heart breaking night which reminds me of the betrayals.
what a pity, i never realized how strong you were..
too cleaver, too smart...
no worries, no pain you showed..
happily accepted future with me...

BUT

was it a show off ? or a plan??
you arnt like before..
you would tell me you love me,
but u r scared to take a risk in life..
cause you know that i dont love you...
u say u love me but u never stay with me..
i don wanna believe you,
neither wanna love you...
you know that very well..
you never deserves me,
and i never deserves you..

we can never have a same to same attraction,
cause naturally we are different..
i am water and you are the fire
if i love blue berries, then you'd love black berries.
if i love enjoyment, then you'd love seriousness,
i love to have friends but you hate them,
i love sharing and you love hiding,
i love talking but u dont..

i say, we can never be together but you say we can..
why? where is the answer for that??
i hate you for tolerating me
i hate you for ruining my life,
i hate you for accepting me...
i wanna hide my self from you..
i wanna live a better life...

i wish i had never gone to you...
but i cant leave you either...
cause i know, there is no human being so unique like you..
you are loyal and understanding,,
you never took me granted when all did..
you were there for me when ever i needed someone...
you loved me as if it was a must for you...

but its so pathetic to be with u when i totally cant love you...
just let me go...
this is killing me all inside..